Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Mouths of Babes

A mother and her five year old daughter were taking a walk on a fine spring day.  A lady, walking her dog, passed them across the street.

The mother, an avid dog lover, exclaimed, "Look at the little Shih Tzu!"

Wide eyed with surprise, her daughter looked at her and said, "Momma, is that a bad word with zoo at the end?"

Understanding her duaghter’s response, the mother replied. "No dear, that is the type of dog that lady was walking."

No more was said, until they'd been home for a while and the five year old wanted to play with her little brother.  "Come here you little Shih Tzu," she called to him.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Banked fires

We were young, then, and everything was new.

We laughed as ran through the rain, jumping into puddles. 
Your splashes went the farthest.

Like children we danced, the taste of rain upon our skin.

Now, we are old, and even memories fade. Even so, I see the gathering clouds.

Come, take my hand, shall we dance once more in the rain?

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Tales out of School

This happened today.....

First grade teacher gave her class an assignment - draw a picture of your face.

A little girl handed in her drawing.

Teacher:  "The assignment was to draw a picture of your face. Now does this look like your face?"

Student:  "Yes."

Teacher: (Sighs) "Is your face purple?"

Student: "It is when I'm constipated."

As an add on to this post, I have to relate the following, also true.

I was sitting on a bench the other day, and a young woman walked by. I couldn't help noticing her T-shirt, the back was emblazoned in very large letters LIVING IN THE NOW.  In the center of the O were the numbers "2014".  I'm still laughing at this one.

Monday, July 31, 2017

Mouths of Babes

Mom of a three and a half year old daughter asked her, "Why do you never listen to me?"

She replied, "Because I'm a child, that's why."

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Blister Packs

Everyone is familiar with blister packs. Those are the hard plastic packages that small purchases come in.  They are almost impossible to open.  I fret and tear, try to cut with scissors or knife, and still struggle to get those (expletive deleted) things open.

Recently, my wife bought a tool to open blister packs.  Guaranteed to cut through those hard plastic shells with ease, the advertisement said.  "Great," I thought, "no more fussing and cussing at those impossible to open packages. And just in time for Christmas!"

Guess what?  The blasted thing arrived safely ensconced in a blister pack.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015


Three years ago, we took a wonderful cruise to Norway.  In considering our next vacation, Mary Beth and I decided to try a Baltic Cruise. So with the able assistance of Dan Mandich, cruise planner with Luxury Cruise Connections, we formalized our plans.

Day 1
We booked Delta's Business Class and looked forward to the enhanced service and flat folding seats on the overnight flight. Boarding in Tampa, our flight to JFK was delayed due to weather. We finally arrived and missed our flight to London by about ten minutes.  Delta booked us on the next flight, so we were not terribly inconvenienced.  However, in contrast, we had a similar situation several years earlier while flying home from England on British Air. Our inbound flight to Gatwick was delayed. When we finally arrived in Gatwick, we were met by a British Air representative and shuttled to the plane taking us back to the States. They ensured we did not miss our flight. Delta didn't show that same level of concern or service.

Once aboard, the flight from JFK to London went fairly well. The food was okay, nothing spectacular, and the choice of wines, much hyped by Delta in their ads, was limited to two reds and two whites. I found the fold flat beds to be much too hard for me to find a comfortable position. Mary Beth, who normally has a hard time sleeping on a plane, fell right to sleep.  Entertained by the large selection of movies, I managed to pass the time well enough.

Arrival in Gatwick was easy. The Delta flight attendants handed out passes for a "Fast" lane through customs.  However, when we went to collect our luggage, it hadn't arrived. Delta assured us it would arrive on the next flight and they would deliver it to our hotel.

In assessing the flight over, Delta has made large strides in improving their service, both in their Skyteam Lounges and in the air.  However, they still have a way to go before catching up with their European counterparts. I've flown Business Class on British Air and Swissair, and found service on those carriers to be superior to Delta's.

We took a short cab ride from the airport to the Heathrow Renaissance Hotel. Tumbling into bed, I hadn't felt anything more soothing than the crisp, cool feel of those sheets. I was asleep as my head hit the pillow.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Tales out of School

As my blog readers know, all Tales out of School are true stories as related to me by the educators in my family.....

The first grade class were assigned to write a description.  One little boy asked his neighbor, "What's a 'scription?"

The girl to his left whispered, "You know, it's like when you go to the Doctor and he writes you a 'scription. For medicine."

Guess what they wrote.